ISSUE ONE ~ SKIN, 01Jan08

[Surreptitious Cardboard Box]

ISSUE ONE ~ SKIN

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

General Shnophie
Terrified of windows at night-time. Is currently in that phase where she's struggling to not relate every single thing to 'Hairspray', so if you come across any references, don't be surprised.

Unleashed Madness
70% lesbian. Welcome to the 60s if he/she wants to come. Admirably cheeky towards chavs. Excessively so, actually. Probably too much so. But who cares?

Linksfan
Quiet, sophisticated, mature ... None of these words would be appropriate when trying to describe LinksFan. He has waning bouts of creativity now and again and has a tendency to remember useless facts.

Writer Four
This could be you.

Writer Five
This could be you.

Guest Writer
This could be you.

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EDITOR'S NOTE
~ by General Shnophie
I don't suppose any of you understand how ridiculously hard it is to write something like this. When you're responsible for collating a number of things and then 'publishing' them all together, it's sort of a societal expectation that you're smart and funny and capable and so on and that these wonderful values will be conveyed in everything you write. Sadly, that's probably not the case. For a start, I've delayed this publication by a month, which isn't exactly the best showcase of organisation or motivation, or even leadership skills. But still, I wish for you all to enjoy reading it. Even if you see very little point in its existence, or simply think it's completely and utterly dull, I can at least hope you learn something from it, even if it's just some wacky, seemingly useless fact, or even if you only became exposed to my viciously controversial viewpoint on some semi-important subject.
As you can see above, there are still spaces left in the writing team. If you're passionate about a subject, or simply enjoy writing, get in touch with me and you're sorted for life. We're slightly lacking in contributors this issue, so this is a mini compilation. The more writers we get, the more craziness there will be to satiate your need for such things, so get down here. And don't forget, you also have the chance to manipulate the subject matter of each issue, so be sure to suggest a few themes in the Suggestions thread.
Have fun reading.

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FACT 1
~ by Linksfan
You have approximately 19,000,000 skin cells on every square inch of your body.

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RANT
~ by General Shnophie
Don't you just hate it when you get that small piece of skin around the nail that rips and peels back, leaving a sharply sensitive piece of flesh that stings every time it gets knocked? Amazingly, my fingers all appear to be in pretty good condition at the moment, but no doubt the little hook of skin will reappear soon enough. I think the reason for this frustrating little occurence is something to do with the skin that attaches your nail to your fingertips, but still, it seems so horribly unnecessary. Why not just -- y'know -- not rip, yeah?

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MY INTERPRETATION
~ by Unleashed Madness
Bill, a retired farmer, pushed himself up from his poorly constructed bed. The lumpy mattress slumped in the middle because the wooden latches beneath were broken. His back felt like it had been trodden on by a group of angry elephants, but he got up nevertheless – albeit, reluctantly – to begin his day. He dragged himself from his room across to the filthy bathroom.
A ray of sunshine burst through the cracks in the glass of the window and shone onto the floor, forcing him to cover his eyes with scarred hands. After a short while, he grew used to the bright light and moved his hands down to look into the mirror. Upon seeing his reflection, he let out a sudden hoarse scream and fell to the floor, shaking uncontrollably.

What he had seen was terrifying. Never before had he ever seen something so terrible in his life and it made him want to die. It made him scream endlessly inside. For hours he lay, curled on the floor, voices in his head screaming and shouting ceaselessly. What he had seen in that mirror was the face of a giant rabbit. Bill despised rabbits and his face had become that of which he hated so very much. Tall, fluffy, white ears; a little pink nose and big teeth and - worst of all - the white fur which covered his face made him scream in agony. He wanted to die, to be slaughtered like the rabbits he had slaughtered for eating his crops.

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IN THE NEWS TODAY
~ by General Shnophie
Biological alchemy has enabled researchers to turn human skin cells into stem cells. Unlike with embryonic stem cells, this new technique does not involve the destruction of embryos, thus sweeping aside the ethical objections to such research.

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FACT 2
~ by Unleashed Madness
People with pale skin are ten times more likely to get skin cancer than those with dark skin.

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SIMPLE OBSERVATION
~ by Linksfan
Three or four years ago I was introduced, by chance, to ProBoards, and - in particular - a forum owned by BlueRose, who is now a close friend of mine. I moved through the board and was introduced to another, one that I am still an active member of, and since then, I have been through many ProBoards forums.

I guess I should get to the point. Each of these has something called a ‘skin’. Each is different according to the tastes of the person who designed them, and also dependant on the board's theme. These changed over time, just as tastes changed. The ideas behind them moved on, and the designers grew older and more mature or - in some cases - more immature. I joined a few; indeed, I became an active member of a few, before some of them shut down for whatever reason. It was great. By looking at a skin you liked, and finding its designer, you could end up finding a friend straight off, as their work would be influenced by what they liked and, as said earlier, if you like it, you tend to have similar ideas, influences, likes and so on. Friends would literally crop up overnight.

(I don’t think any of them are members here, but if they are, and I’ve overlooked them, I apologise.)

So, next time you are browsing through ProBoards Support, take a look through the advertisements board, find a skin you like, and then find the designer. Well worth it in the end.

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BY THE WAY
~ by General Shnophie
I'm not really showing a lot of skin these days, considering the cold weather, and yet my feet don't seem to suffer anywhere near as much as my neckline, even though all I wear, even when going out, is just a pair of pumps. The difference in reaction to exposure is more to do with nerve endings, though, isn't it?